When initially leaving the road for that short period, a huge churning within me was “How shall I be amongst the people that I shall be able to do the Work?” It plagued me mentally and emotionally, but I chose to let go and trust the Universe. Aside from doing the Work on the then, home front, sure enough, that partnership opened up the doors of teaching Reiki and Moksha Magick. It was a venue for me to do the Work. And it was exploding wide open.
But ah, the Wheel of Fortune closed the door of that partnership, and, my venue. Oh shit.
The Universe amazes me. One of the monumental disappointments I had to struggle through in returning to the road, was the aspect of “doing the Work.”
That has been huge to me through decades now. It has taken various forms but has always centered on aiding people to heal and find their own wholeness, their own knowing of truth, their own awakening. It has come to be my recognition of why I am here at all. It is the “Work.”
Doing the Work is so delightful when I see people “get it” that I also call it playing, and most cases, it is.
During that time were days of wrestling; “what is it okay to be paid for in doing that work.” I will not charge for healing, but charging for teaching was a new perspective for me. I had to take a hard look at that. It came to pass that I could give recognition to it in that charging for teaching was not so much about “Me, the Teacher,” but rather about me providing a venue for the people they could recognize as engaging themselves in the Work.
Thus I could release my past perceptions and move forward to accepting abundant bounty from the Universe [as the people paying for the venue]. Congruent then to plugging in my business mindset, appreciable funds began pouring in which would eventually be sufficient to further expand the Work, and it felt good in every sense.
But in those latter days of that partnership, I had shifted my mindset about receiving abundance at all. Suddenly, gifts from people, many unknown to me, simply began pouring down upon me. Every one of those gifts was clearly representative of the people’s recognition of the essence that I am, in truth of my being, and in truth of my needs in the hour; even needs I did not know I had.
Then, as I stepped forth into the unknown, homelessly, the abundance kept pouring in. And why? Because I now see, it is simply that I am. Part of the original problem was that I had to get myself out of the way through all those paradigms held from years prior. Releasing a sense of requirement that I had to earn my way for every nickel was huge, but certainly, that was not the only paradigm shift.
Within a week of being homeless, a woman gave me $100 just because. That gifting held no sense of need, for I did not really need that money, I had sufficient funds to “make it.” I had even told her so. It was not a gift of charity, but a gift of caring, a gift of love. And with that gift, I felt rich beyond anything which that money could ever buy. I felt rich for the caring, for her having seen “me” in truth of being, rich for love shared, and rich for my openness to receiving.
The price tag for my existence was lifting from me.
But of the Work, that has still lain heavy upon me. While I’ll certainly continue to expand methods of reentering the Reiki and Moksha teaching as venues, and feel okay to charge accordingly as applicable, I know that will take time. And I laugh; part of that time was even to get past the hurt and resentment of that venue being stripped from me. But this I know, the Universe is with me on this, and today seemed to prove it.
A fellow homeless being, a young man of about forty years in age, living in his car by choice of the now, came forth unto me. We had chatted a bit before, all the silly little nothing conversation that people use to guard themselves, but today he let it drop.
Sitting here in the middle of a Wal-Mart parking lot, the Work began. In and of itself, that was a blessing to me. But early on in that sharing, a man came forth, and gave me cash, for no reason. It was not a huge amount of cash, but that didn’t matter, I saw the Universe saying it is okay to receive, and, I shall always have venue. In roughly three weeks, I am able to see myself getting back on board doing the Work.
There will remain concerted effort on my part to reestablish greater frequency of doing the Work. There is much to do in being present before the people, to be available and accessible, but that is growing.
And for the young man, what a blessing, what a joy. During these few weeks past I’ve struggled with being able to connect with my energetic Self at all. I had finally resigned to accepting that I needed to be within the human aspect of my current existence … boy that felt weird. I could neither shift to the fullness of my energetic Self by thought, nor spoken mantra, nor space of peace.
I felt doomed.
This young man had come forth and increasingly spoke of his truths. When he happened to mention his consideration of an operation for his condition of vertigo, my energies ripped open, wide, full bore. The portals of my hands returned to openness up to my elbows. The ringing in my left ear kicked in immediately and was soon joined by the right ear. Energy was pouring into me, and out of me, energy I know as the Universe, as life, as me. I of the whole was back.
And best yet, he got it. He understood me telling him why he had the vertigo, and, how to correct the blockages causing it. Everything that poured out of my mouth was the voice of the Universe. While I hold a broad mental knowing of the blockages and causes, I truly have no specific knowledge to vertigo. I even had to ask him what it was to confirm that I was correct about that. But I had seen the causes and heard the answers all at once. Eventually, I pulled out reference material to confirm it for him through another voice. I had already stated exactly what was written, without me having ever read it.
I of the whole was back.
He got it, he will heal those problems, and he will continue to grow. He himself is a powerful healer on the rise. His work of the minute though is to heal himself. And in that, I am blessed.
As for the free meals given to the homeless which started this Less a Home series, I have returned a couple of times. Each of those times was to examine the acceptance of receiving just because I am, just because I exist. It was more of a “what if” I don’t have to generate every bit of everything I personally consume?
Can I be okay with that?
Can I simply receive material abundance just because, and how deep can it go?
I had placed my own limits upon myself in many ways as a sense of self-responsibility [a woefully lacking state of being in current humanity]. That sense of self-responsibility went beyond even just for me; it bore a sense of responsibility for those around me too. Yet I walk in world of leaches and takers; it is important to me to never be one of them. I trust that I will keep that in balance.
Giving and receiving is part of our connection to the Universe, represented as love. We cannot place a price tag on love, nor our existence. Giving, sharing and receiving are acts of caring, acts of love.
And that, I shall continue to pursue and embrace.
I t has been a tough shift for me to charge for my presence in venues of doing the Work, and in many cases, like today, I would never charge that young man to have talked to me. But the Universe is clearly showing me that receiving abundance beyond my immediate needs, and doing the Work, can go hand-in-hand.
A gift of self-discovery and a gift of doing the Work, all in one felled swoop … life is good.
Guru Jah here …
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