Abuse can be so subtle, that we miss the connection. An inherent problem is that we think we are doing right by the stigma we provide to children, but that is most often based on our own poor experiences in sexual development.
For those concerned about doing the “right thing” for our children, please, the intention of this page is to raise our consciousness rather than instill fear over every little act we may impart. That said, every little act does count. Striving for ideals is not always about never making a mistake; it is often about what we do in the aftermath. When we fear making a mistake, we instill a sense of fear in the child. The invitation then is raise our consciousness.
To begin, we must realize that an infant in the womb experiences everything the mother experiences. For example, I was asked to look at a ten-year-old girl with eating and gastric disorders. In less than 60 seconds of watching this child eat a piece of cake, I had tapped into her inner-self and with every bite of cake, heard her voice saying, “Fuck you, die.”
I turned to the mother and stated, “She is trying to live out a command; she had heard she was supposed to be aborted.” The mothers face distorted as she accounted that she and her husband of the day did in fact have arguments about keeping this child; he wanted an abortion.
Despite my pleas to both of the parents, to the best of my knowledge, neither has been willing to come forth to the daughter, apologize for weaknesses of the hour, and affirm their joy for her life. To this day, six years later, the disorders continue along with multiple other character problems.
This example of prenatal experience may or may not directly tie into the Universal Life Force, Power, Creation, Sex, and Passion of the 2nd Chakra. It is presented simply because it is the most direct and authenticated awareness I have about prenatal consciousness. The point of it is this, any 2nd Chakra attitudes, experiences, energies, or verbalizations that occurred for the mother, are also incurred by the infant.
Never underestimate the consciousness of a child at any age.
Now let’s move forward to more tangible 2nd Chakra messages inadvertently delivered to our kids. Take an infant in the crib discovering their genitals. It is no different for them than discovering their fingers or toes. Yet some parents make statements like, “Kakka, don’t touch there, oh that’s nasty.” Even lovingly, others may simply swipe the infant’s hands away. And why? It’s because virtually every one of us has had to undergo negative stigma about masturbation.
Harmful sexual messages delivered to children can range through confusion, shame, feeling that something is wrong with them or their bodies, disapproval, insecurity, alienation, even that their bodies and sexuality are something they must hide. The more it happens the deeper those feelings as experience and worldview establish in our id. Stop and think about it.
When we witness a child’s exploratory touch of fingers and toes, we most often respond with delight and amusement. Even if we don’t verbalize our sense of appreciation, we emit energetic approval. Especially as an infant, we are still far more in tune with energetics than anything ever spoken. If we can watch that infant enjoying the wonder and awe of discovery with delight and appreciation, it reflects our energies as acceptance and joy for both the infant, and us.
No matter which way those messages go, they are now in our deepest drives, our vision of self, and our ongoing experience of life. But we haven’t even gotten out of the crib yet.
Some of our sexual messages come through the back door of life. Girls told to wear skirts that cover their knees or any other arbitrary increment sends a sexual message. That message can be all over the place; it’ll vary from child to child. Feelings of shame for their body and sexuality as embarrassment; that above the knees is dirty; that they have no right to be open, natural and free; that they are less than their idols seen on T.V and advertisements; that their sexuality needs to be hidden; that boys can’t respect them if their bodies show too much; that boys are uncontrollable animals. We could go on making a list but bottom line, we need to talk to our kids about how they feel about it.
Any wonder why so many girls have a hard time buying a bathing suit?
Consider a young boy experiencing a slightly stiff penis through various ages pre-puberty. What’s your reaction? Quite actually, if the child doesn’t notice it, the best reaction is probably none at all. But if he does, we need to address it from their level of experience and understanding. Joking around or making light of it could do what? It could seat an impression that his body, his sexual expression, is a joke or not to be taken seriously. And heaven forbid your reaction is horrified, you’ll have just dumped that that horror into his 2nd Chakra and all its expressions.
I’m alarmed at the resurgence of separated sex education for our kids and what I’m hearing that those classes cover. One related video for boys announced that boys will incur erections arbitrarily without control. There is a high propensity for kids who haven’t experienced that yet to feel embarrassed when it does start happening. Another aspect implies that they have no control over it so of course they are justified for wanting to drive it home at any target that will take it.
By checking in with the kids on their level, and how they are feeling, your guts will tell you how to engage virtually anything.
Nakedness, our nudity, it sends a message loud and clear. We began with being okay fully exposed to have our diapers changed or getting a bath, but we absorbed a self-consciousness of nakedness somewhere along the road of life. Clothing became no longer functional like a diaper was. While garb can be a form of self-expression, it’s main role has become to hide the body. Reared in a nudist camp, the “show-me” experience would never need to happen.
Why would we need to hide our nakedness unless we feel our bodies are something to be ashamed of? With exception to isolated pockets of variance, this is a global message; be ashamed.
Hugs, the infamous “Give Aunt Suzy / Uncle Bill a hug.” Few people would attach the word sex to giving a hug, yet would define it as a sign of “acceptance and affection.” And if you still think that that “affection” is not sexual, just watch how many women give hugs while holding their bosom and pelvis as far away from the recipient as possible.
What we are telling a child in commanding a hug is that they must share their bodies and energies [2nd Chakra – sexual] with a person of our bidding. It also becomes a transferal of authority from the true authority figure to a secondary figure; they now also have authority over that child. A child needs a sense of safety in their autonomy, especially over their 2nd Chakra.
Another realm of sexual messages delivered to our kids is media. Sex is used, used to sell, used to entice. And songs, heaven help us, just listen to the lyrics; they are loaded with sexual messages especially as relationships. The flip side is more austere, displaying a sexually ridged approach to life. Consider the diplomatic handshake, how restrained can we get? It’s all what media selectively choses to put forth.
Abstention. Wow, that one is tough. Through the decades we’ve heard it preached from a place of fear, fear of pregnancy shifted to fear of STD’s; be safe, sex is not safe. On the religious realm, sure, implications are that sex is sacred, and it is. But calling our bodies, our drives, our desires, and our maturing acts profane sends a sexual message that separates our Divine Essence from us. That message is that as sexual beings, we are dirty.
While we could go on and on about various sexual messages, subtle or not, delivered to our kids during maturation, our point was not to write a book. It was an invitation to begin expanding your consciousness about our sexual messages to kids. During the maturation phase of the 2nd Chakra, a kid can become stuck anywhere that they incur trauma, even if it’s not outright abuse. Yet, not every “out-of-norm” sexual exposure is necessarily traumatic …
In our next page, Sexual Maturity III, we will look at that further and provide Simplified Points from all three pages.
And given that those classes are separated, the boys have no idea that a clitoris can become erect too. The worst to me about that relayed program is the instructions to the kids not to talk about their classes across gender. We made it all mysterious, secretive, hidden, and illusive while standing in authority over a child telling them to abate their natural curiosity. Now, it’s all the more scary on one hand, or enticing on the other, all with a horrid lack of education about sexuality beyond the physical.
And since so many kids can’t trust adults to be in their best interest, they turn to groups, the gang, the club, the locker room … whoever they see as peers fulfilling their needs. That’s big. Having experienced life in a void of healthy connection, the first encounter that satisfies that need can become their “stuck point,” a point of rebellion. It’s the voice in their head saying “Now life is real.” Unless locker rooms have changed a lot through the decades, messages delivered there are some of the worst a child can encounter.
How do we handle walking in on the show-me-yours and I’ll-show-you-mine? That one can tough considering our world of sexual suppression and abuse. I don’t have any good answers here, and given the world in which we live, I’d have to admit fear of my natural instincts being taken wrongly. But one rule of thumb prevails, by embracing the incident on their level, as a very natural part of maturing, without presenting any authority, you will relieve most of the concerns. Displaying shock, embarrassment, ill-ease, or authority over the situation will certainly seat an internally negative memory experience in those kids. [And of course, age factors can be a part of your concerns.]
Looking at broad social messages denouncing sex we see one main theme, control. Control over sexuality is a great technique, just ask Hitler, he used it well, and so does the rest of the world. If you don’t understand that last statement, read “Control of the Masses under Fascism.” Then look around you, it’ll open your eyes to misuse of our natural sexual expression in the 2nd Chakra and the messages we receive.