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Solo
​    Sacred
​        Sexuality
An aspect of Moksha Magick
​​मोक्ष
Moksha​
meaning to spiritually free,
let go, release, liberate
When we come into this world, we explore our bodies with fascination and wonder in the delight of discovery. It’s natural. But for virtually everyone, somewhere along the road of maturing that natural exploration, it became tainted as dirty or wrong. It became something to be hidden and locked away. It bore the taboo of sexuality.
Many people have surmounted this societal taboo, sometimes through therapy, but seldom through sexual healing. For all too many, they have yet to return to their childlike innocence of Acceptance and Appreciation of their own bodies. Our goal within this page is to aid in bringing us back to that wonder
​and awe in a way that recognizes the absolute Sacredness
​of our bodies and our natural sexual expression.
When we talk about Sacredness, we are not suggesting that one need to say three “Hail Marys” before engaging themselves in self-sexuality. There can be a place for that in Magickal workings, but that is not where we are coming from for this page. We are Sacred as we enter this world, and we are still Sacred throughout our life. Our life simply became bombarded with diversions and false information.
Most people I take to a mirror cannot even look themselves
​in the eyes, let alone with love; exceptions are rare. And we haven’t even invited you any further into self-love than your own reflection. [And if you think that’s real as an exercise while you’re engaged in shaving or putting on your make-up, you’re missing the boat.]
But then your body, it’s ironic, we know every bit of our body better than anyone else does. Yet still we fight acceptance; I’m too fat, I’m too old, I’m too wounded, I’m too _______. And if that voice in your head is spitting out a long list of affirmations, that is compensation; that’s simply your ego trying to justify that long list of I’m too ______. 

It will never be what you say to yourself, but rather what you feel and experience about yourself. Our inner voice speaks louder than our outer voice ever will. The ultimate answer is to open your heart to you; not how you think someone else sees you, but how you are seeing you, and do it with love.
Embrace yourself with the very same feelings of love you would share with anyone else … plus more. The more fully we love ourselves, the more fully we can love another.
So let’s move to Appreciation. Men, when you look at and feel those biceps all flexed up, is it your ego you hear saying how great a body you are maintaining? How sexy you look for the women? How macho you are? Try seeing and touching that muscle with love and affection. Use the same Acceptance, the same Appreciation, and the same Love you might want to express as a feeling to anyone else who is presenting their body to you … plus more.
This is you, really being loved. You can be both the lover and the loved. Wow, what an experience. You experience all this by the one person on this earth whom is in the deepest relationship with you; the one who knows your deepest pains, your deepest joys, your greatest fantasies. You are ideally the one person whom you trust more than anyone. There is no one who can take this from you but you, and no one can really fill that spot for you.
Sharing with another as One is a truly a Sacred Union, but coming to that union filled with self-Love is the key to making it even more magickal. The magick begins with loving yourself first. If we come to a union bearing a heart closed to ourselves, it is closed to everyone else too.
The invitation becomes to explore, Accept, Appreciate, and Love your entire body, every inch, and every aspect, all with an open heart. Open yourself to receiving. Open yourself to giving. 

You are the perfect lover for you. Truly experience you without thought, but rather with awareness, with focus, and with feeling.

Related Pages:

Sacred Sexuality Home
Sacred Sexuality and Healing
Sacred Sexuality: A Gateway to Healing
Sacred Sexuality in Perspective
Back Burner Sex          A look at sexual priorities
Empty Connections     A look at the demise of Sexuality
Starting NOW                  A look at embracing the NOW
Only with Santa            A look at dispelling Naughty Sex
Sexual Maturity I        A look at being sexually "Stuck"
Sexual Maturity II        A look at harmful sexual messages
Sexual Maturity III      A look at sexual Self-consciousness
Sacred Sexuality and Moksha Magick
Is Moksha Magick Right for Me?
Which Moksha Magick is Right for Me?​​
Kitchen Table Moksha Magick
Moksha Magick FAQ
Moksha Magick for Couples
Moksha Magick for Individuals
​​Moksha Magick Madness
Moksha Magick Scholarship Opportunities
​​Moksha Magick Solo
Moksha Magick Training
We welcome any and all comments, questions, and dialog
to encourage everyone's deeper understanding.
Guru Jah here ...
Sacred Sexual masturbation is not just about grabbing our genitals and having a fling with them. It’s about our bodies, our whole body, which happens to include the genitals. While in a sexual relationship, a raging passionate quickie can work nicely at times. Do it too often and that wild passion dies; it is about like living on a diet of fast foods. 
Empty food starvation.
Women are not off the hook here. Simply brushing your hair can be a common act of self-nurturing. While looking at yourself all perky and feeling how cute you look in the mirror certainly has an aspect of self-love, it needs to go deeper. Try touching your hair, stroking it, running your fingers through it just like you’d want a loving partner to do … plus more.
Your entire body is a sexual expression of you. Really take the time to engage your body fully; you are sharing the energies of your Love of you, with you. Begin with both hands simply fondling your body lovingly. When you choose to engage the genitals, use just one hand. Utilizing one hand for loving various parts of your body during genital stimulation with the other hand unites our experience into totality. 

If we just grab our genitals and go for it, we are missing
​our sensuality and all its wondrous gifts. These are the very interactions we desire from another; why would we do less for ourselves? A partner throwing us on the bed and going for it is most often a sexual disaster if not abuse. Abusing our own Sacredness is every bit as hollow.
Take your time, savor the flavor, deeply.
Remember the innocent child-like objective of exploration? We lost it. Through the years, when it came to the genitals, we locked ourselves into a routine. “Yeah, that works.” We establish a known spot or stroke to send us over the edge. Try to avoid touching that spot. Try working all around it with different approaches of swirls and twirls, gentle strokes, slow strokes, light slapping, anything but what you normally do. You will be amazed at the range of sensations you are able
​to enjoy. And they all contribute to your Sacred Sexual experience. 
Sadly, much of the information we received was absorbed when we were too young to figure out what was important to us for ourselves. Thus, by the time we began exploring our bodies again in adolescence and finding a whole new experience, we already had hang-ups. Nakedness let alone sexual expression had to be hidden; physical self-consciousness wore a badge of shame. If we have to hide it, psychologically it is dirty, and very few households openly talk about sex as a healthily normal part of life.
From our perspective, the need is to reexplore the sexual-self all over again. For most people, that’s tough. And in terms of Sacred Sexuality, you have yet another element to add to the mix. Masturbation in this realm is not about getting oneself off any more than being sexual with another person is. Rather at this point, it’s about relearning Acceptance and Appreciation of your own body as a sexual being. That Acceptance and Appreciation by the way is the foundation of Love. 
​Self-Love. And it’s vital.
Whitney Houston proclaimed that “The greatest love of all is easy to achieve. Learning to love yourself. It is the greatest love of all.” Sounds nice, but we disagree with Whitney on both counts. When we embrace love of the Divine we have embraced the greatest love of all, but if we set that contention aside, learning to love yourself is hardly easy to achieve.
Our first barrier is self-Acceptance. Can you stand before a mirror in your nakedness and smile at yourself with a true sense of feeling love? That true sense of love is the same sense of loving appreciation that you might look upon another with. 

​Can you look into your eyes and say aloud, “I love you?” 

Can you blow yourself a kiss with the same delight as in blowing a kiss to another?
One of the great misconceptions about our sexual self-exploration centers on our self-appreciation. We have laden it with expectation of orgasm. Our suggestion is to place that expectation on the shelf with all your other trophies and just let it sit there for a while. And yes, this is for both genders.
The invitation is to get to know your body as a complete sexual expression. Engage that first. When we really love our body fully, even acts of sensual self-love to our toes can lead to near, if not complete energetic orgasm. No, it will probably not have the same over the top experience we are accustomed to seeking, but that’s the point. We have assigned sexuality the role of that explosive orgasm.
An orgasm is an energy release. It can be soft and gentle taking us to a realm of bliss without exploding us all over the wall. The deeper we get to know and appreciate the various levels of energy release, the greater our range of enjoyment and pleasure. It also helps us to ride those energetic waves as rises and falls. It can become a journey through rolling hills of pleasure showing us a new landscape of appreciation just over each crest.
Removing our “goal of orgasm” also provides a level of consciousness that identifies our sexuality as a complete expression of our being. That sexual expression no longer rushes to a goal post just to score the point. There is also a fabulous beauty of rising just to the point of going over the top, and then stopping.

​​Experience that space; be with it. Recognize it for a state of you loving you and how good that feels. It has a beauty all its own. It’s much like enjoying a fulfilling meal of various treats that satisfies our appetite as opposed to overstuffing ourselves like a turkey at a thanksgiving meal to the point we cannot move.
Freeing ourselves of the orgasmic goal has yet another fantastic benefit. We find ourselves free to experience our self-love in bits and pieces throughout our day with deeper appreciation. Small moments of self-sexual expression help us to instill that energy as recognition of our sexual essence in being a vibrant and healthy part of our lives as an ongoing event. We maintain a relationship of ourselves loving ourselves, feeling loved, and being lovable.
That’s BIG!
When we realize that our “orgasm” is not the same experience as our “climax” [male or female ejaculate] we have more to enjoy. A climax means just what it says, it’s the peaking end point, the great crescendo, the greatest release in ways, but then we are done. It doesn’t mean we can’t come back for another round, but our experience already reached the total of all it can be. The symphony played to the final note.
Our objective is to experience our own Sexual Acceptance and Appreciation as Love for ourselves. That big bang has a place and it will come as appropriate. Moreover, it will come as an enriched experience full of pleasure.
While various implements of pleasure have their place, be it delicate silks, furs, or toys of various natures, begin with just your hands. Flesh to flesh, your flesh, your energy, your appreciation of you. Additionally, although the myth persists that only men need to be visual, the invitation is for both genders to be visual with their experience. See you touching and loving you. It makes a difference in the mental and emotional awareness. 
​Our sight is just one of our senses; include them all. 
​And yes, we mean all.
Take it all to greater heights. Set the space both ritualistically and romantically, with special soft music, low lights or candles, and images or artifacts of sacredness to you. [And no, porn and playboy centerfolds are not what we mean.]

​​ This is about you and YOUR body in your Sacredness.
A couple of years ago in a training class, I had made a comment about “closet masturbation.” An attendee piped up and said, “You make it sound dirty.” My answer was, “If you feel so ashamed that you have to hide it in the closet, then it is.” While for various reasons we may typically choose our sacred space to be the bedroom and close the door, whenever possible, choose the living room.
What you are doing is bringing your sexual expression openly into your world as part of your life. It eliminates the stigma as something we have to hide. That is empowering.
Another absolutely perfect environment is outdoors. Sex is natural. Experiencing our sexuality in Nature establishes a sense of connection with the All. It is as close as we can get in physical form. Our senses distinctly enliven, albeit differently, in both sunlight and moonlight, experience each. Other Earthly elements are often available, wind, fire, and water. Each adds their energy to your experience.
When we reach the seeming end of our experience, be it peace, orgasm, or climax, take the time to remain in the afterglow, the stillness. Honor that space and give it time to be full. Reflecting on what we just said to ourselves through our intentions and actions deepens our recognition of it all as expressing our Self-Love.
Solo Sacred Sexuality is truly about you embracing your Divine Self as a sexual being independently, on your own, with yourself. Experiencing yourself as we have suggested will take you to new heights and meaning for you as that Divine Essence. It brings us to greater wholeness, Acceptance and Appreciation of ourselves, and seeing ourselves as deeply lovable. As we encounter partnerships, this is the perfect you to bring to that sharing.
There are many ways to enhance and share the experience once you have fully imbued its essence. It provides perhaps the most valuable gift you can provide to a partner of choice. Remember, You are the perfect lover for you. 

Most relationships never get to the point of understanding
​what a partner really wants. Part of the problem is that until we ourselves have gone through our Solo Sacred Sex experience, we may not know that ourselves. We take what we are given and give what we think makes our partnered sexual experience work. Usually, that exchange is far short
​of our Truth.
While various new partnerships we encounter through life can open us to new levels of experiential consciousness, we need to have a basis to come forth from. Sharing that basis is your Now of experience. It is you as the perfect lover for you, as you know you like no one else knows you. The objective is to share that Truth, that deepest intimacy. It works best in a working partnership that has full embodiment of the same experiential level and interests in sharing. What follows are ways to be really in an intimate relationship with another being.
• Witnessing: Much as in virtually every tradition, special sacred events are witnessed, be it marriage, death, matriculation, or coming of age. This act of Solo Sacred Sexuality is much the same in many ways. Having a witnessing partner that does nothing but hold space in honor and appreciation of you is a huge gift for each participant, you and them.

Witnessing by a non-indoctrinated party may turn out to be nothing more than them getting their jollies at your display of
​hot sexuality. So choose a partnership of consciousness. This experience should absolutely be the first of any of these. If it is an intentional partnership toward mutual sexual engagement thereafter, switch roles as separate rituals.

After sharing is every bit as important as the ritual and witnessing. It is a time of feedback that acknowledges perceptions of the experience. It deepens and validates
​the experience.
• Establishing Oneness; Share as a couple in the same sacred space, at the same time but totally independent of one another. This is not about getting off by watching the other; rather it is a creation of sexual synergy augmenting the experiential energy of each partner. Each of you is sharing in a mutual sexual consciousness. The shared space is at a comfortable distance wherein neither actually touches the other but is as close as is
​otherwise possible.
• Experiencing Oneness: This is similar to the above but literally sitting back-to-back, each engaging independently. What happens is that you experience a direct Chakra to Chakra connection of pure energy, pure connection without it being a matter of either partner otherwise engaging the other. Just sitting in that position without any active sexual components is powerful when done with consciousness. The active sexual expression of each participant multiplies that power exponentially. The now mutual Solo Sacred Sexual expression sends that power to a deep sense of connection with one another in the 2nd Chakra.

[A variation of this is Crown Chakra to Crown Chakra, or head to head. Here we unite our sexual expression in direct Divine Consciousness.]
• Unified Solo: Here we become more interactive while still maintaining the Solo Sexual experience. Have a partner participate by physically engaging you with only their hands and never directly touching your genitals proper. This does not eliminate you engaging the rest of your body on your own, but is rather an augmentation to that. As you engage your genitals, the partner may lay their hand over yours complimenting your moves, but never taking over for you. [I.E. their left hand over your left hand and-or their right hand over your right hand.] This provides a unified honoring of each and every move of your Sacred Sexual expression.
• Lastly, certainly come up with you own variations. It’s your Sacred Sexuality Solo experience shared as is right for you.
Fall in Love with you;
​experience that Love of yourself, to yourself. 

Only then are we fully ready to share ourselves with another.
You are the perfect lover for you.

​​
Experience it fully. By knowing yourself in this way, any partnership you choose to share your sexuality with will be blessed by the most loving being you have available. That person is you. And if you are really lucky, that partner of choice will be bringing that very same energy of themselves to you.
Like Love itself
our Sexuality begins with us.
The deeper we understand our energies, the more enhanced all of our Loving experiences become, whether Solo or not. We encourage everyone to expand their knowledge and experience of the subtle human energies. Energy work
​is a part of our training in Moksha Magick for Individuals.
Simplified Solo Points

​• Masturbation reestablishes self-Love

• Our first barrier is self-Acceptance.

• See yourself with Love

• The more fully we love ourselves, the more fully we can love another.

• Acceptance open the door to self-Appreciation of you and your body

• This is you being Loved

• You can be both the lover and the loved.

• You are the perfect lover for you.

• Truly experience you without thought, but rather with awareness,
     ​ with focus, and with feeling.

​• But most of all with Love

• You are the one person who knows you better than anyone

• Maintain a relationship of yourself loving yourself, feeling loved,
​      and being lovable.

​​

​• Set your space both ritualistically and romantically

• Include artifacts of sacredness to you

• Whenever possible, choose the living room or outdoors

• Place the orgasm expectation on the shelf with all your other trophies

​•​ Engage your body fully

• Experience your bodily subtle energies of joy

• Take your time, savor the flavor, deeply

• Begin with both hands simply fondling your body lovingly

• When you choose to engage the genitals, use just one hand

• Use the other to unite your bodily experience into totality

• Do anything but what you normally do

• Use alternative implements of pleasure sparingly

• Experience yourself Flesh to flesh, your flesh, your energy

• Include all your senses

• Remain in the afterglow, the stillness

• Consciously love your body often and with every little touch

​​